Mouthy

Why is it so hard for us to say things nicely and appropriately? For instance, you want to tegur someone for something they did. Did you really have to find an excuse to bash them? Like you can pull them aside and softly tell them that what they did was wrong and it can be corrected instead of yelling insults and say hurtful words out of nowhere. Was it really necessary to say the most offensive words just to make your point across? 

This is random but I feel like many of us forget that others are human too. Each and every one of us have our own way to deal with problems and troubles that it may come out as something wrong or harsh to others. Either way, no one else know ourselves better than we do. Which in that case we all need to remember that everyone has their own battle to fight and problems to solve. Don't go around and be saying hurtful words just because what they did looked wrong in your eyes. You never know how far your words can affect them. If you do, I can assure you that you don't want to be responsible for the damage and vowed not to speak ever again. 

Think before you speak. 

Moment of Realisation

I think that this blog needs a break from all the beauty posts. I mean, life is not all rainbows and sprinkles. Kita kena la berpijak di bumi yang nyata kan? 

Ever since I finished my high school, I spent a lot of time thinking and noticing the tiny details of a situation that I looked past before. It's not that bad but it's not that good, really. 

When you are no more longer studying your ass off for grades, you don't work and you haven't start your college yet, you will start to realise that the ones that you thought were your rock for the rest of your life was just an acquaintance that happened to be met and seen everyday. It takes a lot of time to accept that truth. 

I also learn that people come and go as they please. Once they realise that you can't benefit them in any way, they will leave. They just do. As if nothing happened. It's okay. It really is as long as you know that you worth more than a friend that left you because you can't give them what they want anymore. I mean, it is so offensive and hurtful but then life is supposed to be offensive and hurtful. What makes it better is how we handle it. 

I learn that I need to have high tolerance and constantly anticipating in order for me to not get disappointed or sad. I also learn that beating your chest and screaming on top of your lungs will never solve the problem though it does release some of the stress. I learn that I need to manage my anger because I need to be a mature person yang tk senang melatah. I need to start thinking widely and deeply. I realise that not everyone understands me how I understand myself. But it's okay. I will learn and I will be a better person. 

I also learn that removing people that are toxic to me is therapeutic and is the best thing I can do to help myself to be emotionally stable. As much as I love these people, I can't let them beat me up and drain my blood for things that cannot benefit me or make me happy. I can't let them find me when they are in trouble and disappear the moment they taste happiness. But I also need to remember that I can be toxic to others too and that is normal because if one can be harmful, I can be harmful to them too. Right now, I just need to pray to Allah that I don't do that to others and I will be treated as nice as I treat others. 

As the days of me entering college getting closer, i realise that I need to start having my own principles and rules. Not to be rigid, just to make my life simpler. After all, we need rules to break anyway. 

For future Fatin, I hope you make it in life and you are surrounded by people who know how to spoil you and how stubborn can you be when you start to hate on something. I hope you become someone that little Fatin would look up to if she had the chance and i hope that you have the highest degree of manners. Because 18 year old Fatin thinks and knows that manners can open doors that degree can't. I hope you are well and you are kicking ass. 

Love, Fatin 

xx